Quick things to learn to make posh food at home.

1) Butterflying meat/chicken breasts.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ot46Cueod4s

This isn't me, but that's how you do it. If you want to grill or bbq a chicken breast, this is the way to go. Other wise it won't cook evenly, and you'll end up with a disastrous grilled chicken sandwich.

2) Balancing food on top of other food. (presentation)

If you're cooking dinner for someone you want to sleep with, there is an easy way to make yourself appear to be a good cook. Balance the food up on top of itself. Plain white plates, food right in the centre, no sauce splatters. there's books and books of photographs of food. There's no need to spend too long reading up, it's just a question of making sure a) your food looks tidy and b) you've got a few different colours in there.

3) Making flowers out of food:
Tomato rose:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_AcwtD9MdCU

Radish rose:
(video with creepily big radishes)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0O-tfKgwvg

And that orange thing you see in the butchers!
-Take an orange and a short, sharp knife. Stab the knife into the orange at the equator, at a 45 degree angle. Now do it again, and again, until you have a zig-zag line around the equator.

At this point, if you've been stabbing through to the centre, you should be able to pull the two halves of the orange apart. And you should be able to put one of these two halves in the middle of any huge bowl or platter of anything to make your dinner look like the 1970s. Extra bonus points for putting a glace cherry in the centre.


4) Add booze!

If you're making a sauce, throw in a glass of wine. If you're making chilli, throw in a shot of whiskey or tequila. If you're making a stew, throw in some beer. If you're doing stuff with pork, throw in some cider. Alcohol boils at around 80 degrees, so the alcohol is gone almost instantly, and you get delicious flavourful dinners!